heather & joe engagements

i'm alive! my blog still exists. so excited to be shooting this awesome couple's wedding. they were such a blast to work with. check out the full shoot on my photography tab!

bekah and corbin engagement session

i love love. and i love engagements. and i especially loved doing these because it was with one of my oldest friends. it's so fun making memories like this with someone you know so well and love so much. they're just so perfect for each other. definitely one of my favorite locations ever as well. i can't get over it. go check out more sweetness on my photography tab. 

kandace + maeberry vintage

maeberry vintage is a locally owned vintage shop located in salt lake city. i seriously love this place and every time i'm there i wish i lived closer. i cannot leave that place without a vintage treasure. i was lucky enough to photograph some of their amazing, unique pieces this weekend and i can't wait to show you the finished product. huge thank you to my beautiful friend kandace who looks like we pulled her straight out of the 40's. she's such a doll. and to brushfire florals for the gorgeous wildflower arrangement. the perfect touch. 

check out my photography tab for the full shoot! 

follow their instagrams here:
@maeberry_vintage
@brushfireflorals

thistle fields

a shoot i did... a week ago? a couple weeks ago? i don't remember anyway. i've fallen in love with golden hour and lens flares. check out the full shoot on my photography tab. hunter also made me practice semi-night photography and it was fun. we almost got hit by cars but we do it for the 'gram, right?

strawberry days

so like everyone else who's cool, i took a little trip to strawberry days and had a fun shoot with this beautiful girl. we made our own cotton candy on a stick. by made i mean we were a little thrown off when it came in a bag so we stuck it on a straw and called it good. anyway. here's the result. it was really hot and really great lighting and karelle is a total babe. i'm so excited with how they turned out. check out my photography tab for the full shoot. 

(there's also a couple pictures of this really cute dog i totally fell in love with. oh and strawberries and cream is amazing)

superheroes

The hardest thing about blogging is you have to be a superhero all the time. Really. At least I make myself believe I do. You can't post things about all the sad feelings you feel. You are meant to blog because you are meant to save the world and you want to touch someone's heart. Because no one wants to read (or write) a post that doesn't make you feel uplifted towards the end of it. I blog because when I write things down they suddenly become real thoughts instead of just pieces of thoughts running around in my scattered brain.

There is this glow about most blogposts saying "I believe in this" "I'm standing up for this" "I'm happy now because" "I decided this" " look how cute these clothes are" "read this and it'll make you feel better about your failed relationship" "you can change your life if" "8 signs that your best friend" so basically, we're superheroes. Doing good unto our fellow men. But what about all those times when we don't have anything happy to write about? Why do I need to feel like I'm supposed to not blog unless I'm happy-blogging? What do I do with all of those thoughts from the days that I'm bored and the nights that I'm really lonely? When I'm sad or angry or stressed or scared or confused? Because there's no shame in feeling those things. So why am I afraid to publish a post that shows I'm weak? 

I don't know if you guys have noticed but my pictures
i add to posts have nothing to do with the actual
post. but i called this one superheroes, so here's
mar. cuz she's a superhero. if you want to follow my
tumblr, you can find it here 

I've come to the decision that I don't want to be a super hero anymore. This doesn't mean I'm going to start writing down all my heartache, but it means I'm going to try to let go of feeling guilty for not feeling like a million bucks all the time. Cuz you know what? I'm human. I make mistakes. I cry. I overthink. I hate boys. I get nostalgic. And I'm gonna write about it. Because it fills me with a different kind of light. I'm going to write because when I do, my mind opens up and my heart calms down and I have to start believing everything I say to all of you. It's okay to be lonely. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be anxious. Who would we be without our weaknesses? I am a firm believer in opposition, and as I've said in previous posts, without downs there is no such thing as up. I cannot grow without first being buried-- being small.

Don't worry, I'll still be filling my blog with as much inspiration for others as I hold within myself (which honestly I don't know how much that is. I'm kind of boring) but I'm also not going to be afraid to write about things that are hard and aren't that happy. Hope you'll stick with me. Thanks for being here. On this page. You are the reason I write.

with love, 

autumn nicole

hope ave part ii

i'm late to the party posting (like always) but here's another shoot i did for hope avenue featuring the blonde beauty chandler roberson from days of chandler. she was an absolute doll to work with and we're both totally in love with the new american fork store.

you can check out chandler's blog here for her own review and styling tips for these two cute looks. and as always, check my photography tab for the full shoot! 

engagement session: aubri and hunter

this cute couple had their engagement session not too long ago and i can't wait to share them with you all! i really love couple shoots. it's so much fun to capture their personalities in a photo and creative memories that will be with them forever. so happy to work with you guys! as always, check out my photography tab for the full shoot!

mercedes ii

guys mercedes cut her gorgeous locks. plot twist, i'm obsessed with it and she looks unreal with short hair. basically i called dibs on doing her first short-hair shoot (i shared these dibs with two other awesome young photographers) and this is the result! check out the photography for the rest of the shoot.

labels i'm loving: hope ave

so i got the awesome opportunity to be one of a few bloggers able to take a first look at the new hope avenue location in american fork, and let me tell you... i'm in love. i'm not just saying that because i'm writing a blogpost about it. i've been given a lot of free clothes and very seldom do i love them enough to feel inspired to write about them. hope ave felt like the epitome of me from the second i walked in. a little bit of hippie and a little bit of preppy and a little bit of casual. i've never been able to pin my own style, but i don't think i've ever  brought so many things into a dressing room at once as i did when i went to hope ave the first time (and second time. and probably soon to be a third time)

their style is a little bit free people and a little bit brandy melville. aka my two favorite places on earth. they have awesome brands like promesa and ginger g, which means supersoft fabric (my weakness), and there were also lots of striped tees (my other weakness) and cute cardigans (okay, one more weakness, needless to say i was a happy camper.) the store was decorated like a dream. casual hippie vibes and just the right size for the amount of product. i loved the color schemes they had and the wide variety of styles- literally something for everyone. plus they're affordable, but still amazing quality, which is so hard to find. 

the girls working there were so adorable and stylish and friendly. they learned my name right away and were so attentive and helpful, but not pushy like a lot of salespeople tend to be (trust me i know, i've been one before.) 

i'll shut up now, and let these looks do the talking. you can check out my photography tab for the full shoots. hope you fall in love like I did!

bridal session: mary and joseph

my first bridal session, and again so excited about how they turned out! i'm obsessed with mary's ethereal, delicate, woodsy look. and with their flowers. so pretty. check out my photography tab for the full shoot! 

i think it's called wanderlust or something

I don't know what this post is. It's probably not going to be as motivational and daintily worded and cute as my other two sappy posts. Mostly I'm writing this down for me just to organize my thoughts in the hopes of it making myself feel better.

I just have another feeling. And I have to write about it because I think it'll calm me down. Maybe not. Whatever, here goes nothing.

Right now I feel so restless. Alive and happy, but discontent. I am an anxious person for those who don't know. Over the last few months things have been peaceful. I have good friends and amazing family. I have kept myself so busy. I like my job. I'm relaxing and I'm finished with school for the summer. I've been RUNNING lately. How gross is that? Like I said, I'm happy. But after this peacefulness continues for too long, my blood begins to boil. I stop sleeping, my foot never stops tapping, my heart beats too fast, I check my phone even more addict-esque-ly than usual. I almost feel angry that nothing is moving. I begin to yearn for something new. It's not that I crave drama. I crave anything but that -- just a new place to visit, a new person, a friend or a date, a new opportunity, a photo shoot. Often this craving explodes into something trivial like new clothes or LUSH products (which I instantly regret it when I realize I have way too much of both) or most commonly a new hair color.

The thing that's both exciting and dangerous about this feeling is that it usually means something new is imminent and change is inevitable because it always is. Whether that something be good or bad, I try my best to let my anxiety reside inside me as excitement (for the most part. Hopefully this something isn't a health problem or an injury or an accident.) because sometimes when seemingly bad things happen, they end up turning into a blessing later on, and I am always excited for opportunities I have to grow.

I don't know where I'm going with this to be  completely honest. Like I said, I'm bored with my life. Happy, but bored. And maybe I'm being lazy and I need to make this change happen myself somehow, or maybe I'm being too eager and need to enjoy this calm before the storm. I don't know. Neither of those are a good way to be. I'm also not trying to complain in any way, because I'm exponentially grateful for how beautiful of a life I've got. But I'm excited for whatever change is coming at me, be it tomorrow or six months from now. Hopefully it shakes up my world in a good way.

Maybe I'm frustrated because I don't know exactly what it is that I want to happen, because if I did, I could go for it. I guess what I'm getting at with this post is that if you have this weird feeling in your gut like I do, and you actually KNOW what it is that you want unlike me, you should do something about it. Go tell that girl you like her. Go make up with your mom after that fight you had. Go make cookies for that old lady down the street. Buckle down and finish your term paper. Start a blog and tell the world how you feel. Go exercise because you love your body, not because you hate it.

What's the worst that can happen? And better than that, what's the best that can happen?

Like I said, no clue where I wanted to go with this. But hopefully it didn't bore to to tears. Thanks for reading, dolls.

with love,

autumn nicole

shelby + mercedes for arrowhead place

okay. i know i say this about every shoot (and i guess this is a good sign) but this really was my favorite shoot so far. possibly because i worked with two of my favorite models (and people) of all time, and because of the gorgeous clothing sponsored to me from arrowhead place. but for some reason this shoot just felt so me and so natural, like i'd dreamed about it for a long time before and it finally came to life. and i'm so happy with how they turned out. i'm very hard on myself. so i obviously am going to say that they can always be better, and i hope i continue to grow as a photographer, so that every shoot can one day be a dream shoot. but for now, i am loving what i do and i hope you all are enjoying it as well. i also want to extend a giant thank you to all of you who read my blog (including the sappy ones) and give me such amazing feedback and support on both my writing and my photography. you have no idea how much it encourages me. i get discouraged pretty easily when i start comparing my work to others, so to hear such nice things about it is amazing to me. so please. keep giving me criticism. keep letting me practice on you. keep reading my dumb sappy posts. hopefully you can grow with me and enjoy the ride as much as i am. 

with love, 

autumn nicole 

check out my photography tab to see this full shoot. 

senior session: kaila

so excited to show you all my first senior session with this beautiful girl! i love working with dancers because they take direction so well. and because they're always stunning. i wanted to try something kind of unique with the location and we had so much fun. check out my photography tab to see the full shoot.

abrea + labels i'm loving

hey ya'll! it's taken me forever to post this but here's a cute shoot i did with my beautiful friend abrea in collaboration with amos leather works and slouch headwear. amos leather works is an amazing small company specializing in beautiful, genuine leather, handmade accessories. i was so excited to feature them in some of my work. also featuring this really cute kitty (which abrea hated but you'd never know it from the pictures) who loved to snuggle.

another guide to happiness

alright dudes. i'm about to go very psych-major on you all.

a few posts back i discussed heartbreak and growing and being stronger and i mentioned this girl quote that we all know and love...

"you cannot be happy with someone else until you learn to be happy with yourself."

        - every girl ever

okay. yes. as i said, i agree and i disagree with this. 

i agree with the fact that you should never ever place your self worth in the hands of someone else. you shouldn't have to sacrifice everything for someone who is not willing to give you an inch. you should never take abuse in any form. you should never let anyone hold you back or tear you down. those people are toxic and you don't need them. 

also, i know you will always be happier in a relationship or in a marriage or in a friendship if you know yourself. know who you are, what you stand for, where you stand, what you like and hate and love and know and don't. you should always strive to learn all you possibly can and understand things from all angles. learn to be unapologetically, unchangingly, unbreakably you. by that i mean the best you. do not settle for the lesser version of you. know your faults and weaknesses and flaws. look into your past and DIG. DEEP. you will see a lot of ugly things and a lot of awesome things that have shaped you into who you are. learn to face your pain and then let yourself let go. move on. make goals. whatever. just start being better. this is what gives you a sense of self-love. it's not being skinny or having the best hair or clothes or having a million people compliment your intelligence or needing to brag or lie about your grandeur. it is internally being comfortable with yourself and not being afraid to love it.

but, i disagree because the whole idea is frankly kind of narcissistic. there, i said it. are you confused? i'm sorry i'm confusing myself too. but let me explain this as well. i firmly and wholeheartedly believe that the best way to find out who you are and what you love and feel whole and happy, is to forget. about. yourself. 

wait what?

but autumn you just said to love yourself and spoil yourself and be yourself and and and and......

just listen. you know that feeling when you write someone a letter or buy them a present or clean something without asking, just to make them happy? thats you being you. it's you believing in something bigger than yourself. when you only focus on yourself, you will never be really okay. you will be stuck in this little selfish spiral where all you can see is the reasons you're miserable and the things that are making you anxious and what everyone is doing wrong to hurt you and

 you you you you you

i hate elite daily 99% of the time because most of what they post is worldly and vain and focused on beauty and personal opinion and it bugs me, but they actually posted something i actually liked very recently titled "10 reasons this generation is losing the ability to be in love" (which, sadly, i feel like i agree with most of the time. but again, another post for another day.)the 4th reason on the list is that "we're becoming more egocentric." i'll just quote the section for you. they say, "every individual in the world is egocentric; we all think about our needs and ourselves first and foremost. whether this is good or bad doesn't really matter; the world is the way it is. it's part of human nature. the problem arises when our egocentricity overtakes our ability to feel empathy. as human beings, we have no choice but to live and function in society, within communities of different sizes. relationships are really nothing more than granule communities. when we focus on only ourselves, our needs, our wants and desires, the needs of the community get overlooked. when this happens in a relationship, it all begins to fall apart." (you can read the rest of the article here)

“How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.”

well UGH. how depressing is that? losing our ability to be in love? call me a girl but i sincerely believe all the cliché's; love is the closest thing humans have to magic, love makes the world go round, and of course, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

i'm not advising you to not do the things you love and be who you are. i just mean that the more you make other people smile, the more you'll smile yourself. and that's what relationships are about, right? trust, selflessness, commitment, hope for the best, honesty, loyalty. both parties are not giving 50%, but 110% each. and even through hard hard times, if you're both working, you will fill each other's (hypothetical) love cups with sparkles and rainbows so that you are both running over the brim with smiles. and it's magic. at least, that's what i've heard. it's good to take care of yourself and take pride in yourself and have confidence, but the best way to build those things up are to do good things for other people.

so let me revise this overused little piece of advice; 

learn to love others in order to love yourself. be the kind of person you would love to love. and then you will be happy, with and without someone by your side.

with LOVE,

autumn nicole

shelby

another one of my favorite shoots so far. i really wanted to mix it up and take a step away from my flower children/field hippy/cutesy shoots and do something a little edgier. and i was lucky enough to work with this gorgeous girl to accomplish it. check out the rest of this shoot under my photography tab. 

"I want to apologize to all the women I have called beautiful before I’ve called them intelligent or brave. I am sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you’re born with is all you have to be proud of when you have broken mountains with your wit. From now on I will say things like you are resilient, or you are extraordinary not because I don’t think you’re beautiful, but because I need you to know you are more than that."

-Rupi Kaur

kandace

one of my favorite shoots today. we channeled our inner t-swift for this gorgeously lit setting. makeup by the amazing chanel coles with bella allure beauty. check out the full shoot on my photography tab.

brainy about beauty: 8 things to save your sad skin

hey beauties. so today i'm gonna be a basic blogger chick and give you some advice on how to make your skin happy. i have license to speak in this area because i have put my face through the ringer to get it to where it is today. my whole life, i had perfectly clear, smooth skin with only the occasional blackhead or breakout. but then when i turned nineteen my body decided it was time to put me through hell. i developed terrible acne all over my face. i wont go into gory detail but needless to say it gave me crazy anxiety, which only made the acne worse. i tried everything under the sun. every oxide and acid and exfoliator and moisturizer and cream. nothing was helping. my doctors were telling me i couldn't do much without just going on accutane, but that terrified me after all of the horror stories i've heard about it. so i persisted.

the only thing i had never tried before were natural skin products. i had always thought it was just a bunch of hippie mumbo jumbo and it could never actually do anything for me. i was so wrong. it was exactly what my skin needed. and that isn't to say that all of the chemically products won't work for you, they might, but every single person's skin is different and it takes a lot of time to figure out what it needs. (plus, i am ALL about sparing the animals of testing. that's not okay.)

admittedly, yes, i did start going on a topical retinol acne treatment to clear up some leftover blemishes and discoloration, but that posed completely different problems for me. now my skin was dry and sensitive and blotchy, which i had never had an issue with before. i'd always had super oily, tough skin.

so after all of that, here's 8 things i've discovered are going to save your skin. these are tips for all skin types and all problems.but like i said, you'll have to figure out exactly what works for you. and i'll also post links to my favorite products for each tip.

disclaimer: i'm a huge LUSHie. but there are plenty of other natural products out there for you besides that brand. even though i kind of swear by it...

1. moisturize - i'd always looked past this step thinking i didn't need to because my skin was oily. but then i learned that your skin can actually overcompensate for the good oils it needs to keep it supple and healthy when all we do is dry dry dry and dry it out. don't touch your face a lot though, that's not healthy oils-- that's dirt and whatever residue is left from everything else you just touched. ha. gross.

extra tip- use a toner before you put on moisturizer. without it, your moisturizer will just sit on top of the skin rather than having it really absorb. try putting some on your hand with and without toner to see the difference. you can apply toner by spraying or splashing it right on your face, but i like to spray it on a cotton bad and then wipe my face off with it. it's pretty amazing and pretty nasty how much dirt has gathered just overnight.

fave product: LUSH vanishing cream is a super light, all natural moisturizer specifically designed for acne prone and oily skin. it's made of linseed, rose water, lavender honey water to soothe inflammation, organic jojoba oil to moisturize, and witch-hazel to tighten pores.

2. exfoliate - you should exfoliate both your face and body. it helps shed dirt and dead skin to leave it softer and healthier and turnover your cells.

fave product: for my face, i have two favorites. when i had oilier, more stubborn skin, i swore by dark angels by LUSH, which i honest-to-goodness think is what started making a huge difference in my acne. it left my skin feeling really nice and matted, but not dry. it's a black sugar and organic charcoal scrub. but my new absolute favorite is herbalism, also by LUSH. it's a much gentler, milder exfoliator that i can use on my now dry and sensitive skin morning and night, only to occasionally use dark angels as a pick-me-up.

for my body, my favorite exfoliator is bloke body scrubs. holy cow. i seriously would marry these scrubs if i could. as soon as you wash it off, your entire body feels like a baby's butt. they're 100% organic and come in three varieties. my favorite is the coffee+sweet orange scrub. the caffeine helps target scars, cellulite, eczema and stretch marks (which i have all of. yay.) and i can honestly say i've seen a huge difference. i also super dig the vanilla chai for my body because, hello, it's vanilla and chai. literally two of my favorite tastes and smells in the whole world. all these products have coconut oil as well to help me feel smooth all over. love love love. 

3. give it a good break- sometimes, the best thing you can do for your skin is to do nothing at all. take a day off every once in a while from makeup and sun and scrubbing. just keep it clean with a mild facial wash and again, don't pick at it or touch it too much. that'll just irritate it. don't forgot to change your pillows and sheets regularly. you'd be surprised how much dirt builds up and how badly that can affect your skin. also keep an eye on what medications your taking. everyone reacts to different medications differently.

4. use a good foundation- this also makes a bigger difference than you think. switching over my foundations hugely changed the balance of oils and just the overall look of my skin. a more expensive foundation is worth healthier, happier skin. trust me.

fave product: matchmaster liquid foundation by MAC (apply it with a brush. not your fingers.)

5. eat right and exercise- you've all heard it a million times. but maintaining a healthy lifestyle is vital to your skin (and basically everything else). a lot of changes in your skin and even your hair a super hormonal and chemical, and the best way to keep those things in check are to keep yourself in good shape. this doesn't have to mean cutting out anything. eat good fats, good carbs, lots of fruits and vegetables, and avoid processed, synthetic sugars and fats. 

6. water water water- drink a lot more water than you think. if you feel like your drinking a lot already, drink more, because it probably isn't enough. this is a natural way to detoxify your body and it's just all around good for your health. 

7. keep it safe from the sun- ugh. this one is hard for me. i love tanning and feeling heat on my face especially in the summer, and i love the way i look when i'm sunkissed. but the less exposure your face has to UV rays, the healthier it will be in the long run. 90% of age signs (wrinkles, fine lines) are caused by UV rays. so wear a good sunscreen. 

fave product: elta md uv clear suncreen. this is a physical sunscreen, as opposed to a chemical sunscreen which is almost all you'll find in stores (coppertone, banana boat, etc). the difference between a physical and chemical sunscreen is pretty huge. a chemical sunscreen is packed with chemicals that soak into your skin and absorb uv rays, causing a chemical reaction that breaks it down, which is why you have to apply it every 2-3 hours. a physical sunscreen is made of zinc which is a completely natural mineral which reflects uv rays completely giving you much better protection. another big difference is that a physical sunscreen will block both UVA rays and UVB rays. UVA rays are longer wavelengths and are what cause sun damage to your skin. a chemical sunscreen will provide temporary protection from burns, but hardly any from aging. (remember UVB = burning, UVA = aging)

8. lower your stress- this is my favorite tip. stress can be a good thing, but too much stress can cause damage to your mind and your body. so every once in a while, remember to slow down and take care of yourself. give yourself a spa night and watch netflix. 

my fave face mask: catastrophe cosmetic by LUSH

hope you guys enjoyed my first "brainy about beauty" post. hopefully lots more helpful tips to come!

here's to happy skin, 

with love,

autumn nicole

madison

another shoot i'm a little behind on posting. seriously in love with these pictures. the lighting was treating us right and this girl is a gem. check out my photography tab for the full shoot. 

hey facebook, you're okay

(photo from tumblr) 

so lately, i've seen too many buzzfeed videos and blogposts about how social media is eating away our society slowly;

facebook is turning us into sociopaths

twitter is turning us into simple minded idiots only capable of thinking in 144 characters

instagram is distracting us from real life

tinder is destroying our generation for "real dating" 

snapchat is only being used for porn

blah blah blah blah blah

and frankly, i'm tired of it. i'm going to tell you all of the reasons social media makes me happy. because honestly, i like having places where I can scroll through thousands of pictures all day. i love beautiful things and beautiful people and places. heck, i even love beautifully arranged food. i love learning about people through captions. i love having a place that i can publicly and without shame share my life and my thoughts and my talents that i'm working on developing.

so what if people will write things in text that they would never say out loud? why do you think i have a blog? you think i want to talk to all you people about my deepest darkest places? i love learning about people by wondering why they used that word in that place. what kind of people use "haha" vs "lol". 

i think this selfie nation is a wonderful thing. i love seeing a world of beautiful people finally seeing their beauty. i wish everyone would take selfies. i want to know what makes you feel like you deserve to have your face plastered upon everyone's screens. 

stop being ashamed of our generation. we are an amazing race of humans that are finding something new every single day. we are growing together as a world and as people. we're all just people and the closer we get the more we can love. so no, i don't talk to that cheerleader from highschool, but i won't tell you i'm not interested in where she's at five years later. i love being able to talk to people i know, and even ones i don't, that are a little too far away to shake hands with. i have met some of the most talented people i know and some of the best friends i have through radio waves and wi-fi signals.

go on a date with the cute boy from tinder. not everyone is a total creep. just most of them. if for nothing else, do it for the sheer entertainment. some of my greatest mother-daughter bonding moments have been sitting with my mom harshly judging others. kidding. kind of. and also, i've made some super cool (and okay they're pretty cute too) friends who i probably would have never known existed had i not "swiped right".

okay fine, yes. there are people who abuse it and misuse it. there are scary people out there. there are catfish. there are people who overuse it and grow dependent on it. i will never deny that. as our world grows more amazing it also grows more dangerous. i will always medially socialize with caution and you should too. don't get consumed. after you peruse, get up and go on a hike and actually make eye contact with people.

but i think you know what i'm trying to say. don't fight them. join them. download snapchat. there's someone out there who cares about your trip to the petting zoo or your new haircut. and if it's important to you, don't be afraid to let us all know. 

to socializers with love,

autumn nicole