another guide to happiness

alright dudes. i'm about to go very psych-major on you all.

a few posts back i discussed heartbreak and growing and being stronger and i mentioned this girl quote that we all know and love...

"you cannot be happy with someone else until you learn to be happy with yourself."

        - every girl ever

okay. yes. as i said, i agree and i disagree with this. 

i agree with the fact that you should never ever place your self worth in the hands of someone else. you shouldn't have to sacrifice everything for someone who is not willing to give you an inch. you should never take abuse in any form. you should never let anyone hold you back or tear you down. those people are toxic and you don't need them. 

also, i know you will always be happier in a relationship or in a marriage or in a friendship if you know yourself. know who you are, what you stand for, where you stand, what you like and hate and love and know and don't. you should always strive to learn all you possibly can and understand things from all angles. learn to be unapologetically, unchangingly, unbreakably you. by that i mean the best you. do not settle for the lesser version of you. know your faults and weaknesses and flaws. look into your past and DIG. DEEP. you will see a lot of ugly things and a lot of awesome things that have shaped you into who you are. learn to face your pain and then let yourself let go. move on. make goals. whatever. just start being better. this is what gives you a sense of self-love. it's not being skinny or having the best hair or clothes or having a million people compliment your intelligence or needing to brag or lie about your grandeur. it is internally being comfortable with yourself and not being afraid to love it.

but, i disagree because the whole idea is frankly kind of narcissistic. there, i said it. are you confused? i'm sorry i'm confusing myself too. but let me explain this as well. i firmly and wholeheartedly believe that the best way to find out who you are and what you love and feel whole and happy, is to forget. about. yourself. 

wait what?

but autumn you just said to love yourself and spoil yourself and be yourself and and and and......

just listen. you know that feeling when you write someone a letter or buy them a present or clean something without asking, just to make them happy? thats you being you. it's you believing in something bigger than yourself. when you only focus on yourself, you will never be really okay. you will be stuck in this little selfish spiral where all you can see is the reasons you're miserable and the things that are making you anxious and what everyone is doing wrong to hurt you and

 you you you you you

i hate elite daily 99% of the time because most of what they post is worldly and vain and focused on beauty and personal opinion and it bugs me, but they actually posted something i actually liked very recently titled "10 reasons this generation is losing the ability to be in love" (which, sadly, i feel like i agree with most of the time. but again, another post for another day.)the 4th reason on the list is that "we're becoming more egocentric." i'll just quote the section for you. they say, "every individual in the world is egocentric; we all think about our needs and ourselves first and foremost. whether this is good or bad doesn't really matter; the world is the way it is. it's part of human nature. the problem arises when our egocentricity overtakes our ability to feel empathy. as human beings, we have no choice but to live and function in society, within communities of different sizes. relationships are really nothing more than granule communities. when we focus on only ourselves, our needs, our wants and desires, the needs of the community get overlooked. when this happens in a relationship, it all begins to fall apart." (you can read the rest of the article here)

“How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.”

well UGH. how depressing is that? losing our ability to be in love? call me a girl but i sincerely believe all the cliché's; love is the closest thing humans have to magic, love makes the world go round, and of course, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

i'm not advising you to not do the things you love and be who you are. i just mean that the more you make other people smile, the more you'll smile yourself. and that's what relationships are about, right? trust, selflessness, commitment, hope for the best, honesty, loyalty. both parties are not giving 50%, but 110% each. and even through hard hard times, if you're both working, you will fill each other's (hypothetical) love cups with sparkles and rainbows so that you are both running over the brim with smiles. and it's magic. at least, that's what i've heard. it's good to take care of yourself and take pride in yourself and have confidence, but the best way to build those things up are to do good things for other people.

so let me revise this overused little piece of advice; 

learn to love others in order to love yourself. be the kind of person you would love to love. and then you will be happy, with and without someone by your side.

with LOVE,

autumn nicole

shelby

another one of my favorite shoots so far. i really wanted to mix it up and take a step away from my flower children/field hippy/cutesy shoots and do something a little edgier. and i was lucky enough to work with this gorgeous girl to accomplish it. check out the rest of this shoot under my photography tab. 

"I want to apologize to all the women I have called beautiful before I’ve called them intelligent or brave. I am sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you’re born with is all you have to be proud of when you have broken mountains with your wit. From now on I will say things like you are resilient, or you are extraordinary not because I don’t think you’re beautiful, but because I need you to know you are more than that."

-Rupi Kaur

kandace

one of my favorite shoots today. we channeled our inner t-swift for this gorgeously lit setting. makeup by the amazing chanel coles with bella allure beauty. check out the full shoot on my photography tab.

brainy about beauty: 8 things to save your sad skin

hey beauties. so today i'm gonna be a basic blogger chick and give you some advice on how to make your skin happy. i have license to speak in this area because i have put my face through the ringer to get it to where it is today. my whole life, i had perfectly clear, smooth skin with only the occasional blackhead or breakout. but then when i turned nineteen my body decided it was time to put me through hell. i developed terrible acne all over my face. i wont go into gory detail but needless to say it gave me crazy anxiety, which only made the acne worse. i tried everything under the sun. every oxide and acid and exfoliator and moisturizer and cream. nothing was helping. my doctors were telling me i couldn't do much without just going on accutane, but that terrified me after all of the horror stories i've heard about it. so i persisted.

the only thing i had never tried before were natural skin products. i had always thought it was just a bunch of hippie mumbo jumbo and it could never actually do anything for me. i was so wrong. it was exactly what my skin needed. and that isn't to say that all of the chemically products won't work for you, they might, but every single person's skin is different and it takes a lot of time to figure out what it needs. (plus, i am ALL about sparing the animals of testing. that's not okay.)

admittedly, yes, i did start going on a topical retinol acne treatment to clear up some leftover blemishes and discoloration, but that posed completely different problems for me. now my skin was dry and sensitive and blotchy, which i had never had an issue with before. i'd always had super oily, tough skin.

so after all of that, here's 8 things i've discovered are going to save your skin. these are tips for all skin types and all problems.but like i said, you'll have to figure out exactly what works for you. and i'll also post links to my favorite products for each tip.

disclaimer: i'm a huge LUSHie. but there are plenty of other natural products out there for you besides that brand. even though i kind of swear by it...

1. moisturize - i'd always looked past this step thinking i didn't need to because my skin was oily. but then i learned that your skin can actually overcompensate for the good oils it needs to keep it supple and healthy when all we do is dry dry dry and dry it out. don't touch your face a lot though, that's not healthy oils-- that's dirt and whatever residue is left from everything else you just touched. ha. gross.

extra tip- use a toner before you put on moisturizer. without it, your moisturizer will just sit on top of the skin rather than having it really absorb. try putting some on your hand with and without toner to see the difference. you can apply toner by spraying or splashing it right on your face, but i like to spray it on a cotton bad and then wipe my face off with it. it's pretty amazing and pretty nasty how much dirt has gathered just overnight.

fave product: LUSH vanishing cream is a super light, all natural moisturizer specifically designed for acne prone and oily skin. it's made of linseed, rose water, lavender honey water to soothe inflammation, organic jojoba oil to moisturize, and witch-hazel to tighten pores.

2. exfoliate - you should exfoliate both your face and body. it helps shed dirt and dead skin to leave it softer and healthier and turnover your cells.

fave product: for my face, i have two favorites. when i had oilier, more stubborn skin, i swore by dark angels by LUSH, which i honest-to-goodness think is what started making a huge difference in my acne. it left my skin feeling really nice and matted, but not dry. it's a black sugar and organic charcoal scrub. but my new absolute favorite is herbalism, also by LUSH. it's a much gentler, milder exfoliator that i can use on my now dry and sensitive skin morning and night, only to occasionally use dark angels as a pick-me-up.

for my body, my favorite exfoliator is bloke body scrubs. holy cow. i seriously would marry these scrubs if i could. as soon as you wash it off, your entire body feels like a baby's butt. they're 100% organic and come in three varieties. my favorite is the coffee+sweet orange scrub. the caffeine helps target scars, cellulite, eczema and stretch marks (which i have all of. yay.) and i can honestly say i've seen a huge difference. i also super dig the vanilla chai for my body because, hello, it's vanilla and chai. literally two of my favorite tastes and smells in the whole world. all these products have coconut oil as well to help me feel smooth all over. love love love. 

3. give it a good break- sometimes, the best thing you can do for your skin is to do nothing at all. take a day off every once in a while from makeup and sun and scrubbing. just keep it clean with a mild facial wash and again, don't pick at it or touch it too much. that'll just irritate it. don't forgot to change your pillows and sheets regularly. you'd be surprised how much dirt builds up and how badly that can affect your skin. also keep an eye on what medications your taking. everyone reacts to different medications differently.

4. use a good foundation- this also makes a bigger difference than you think. switching over my foundations hugely changed the balance of oils and just the overall look of my skin. a more expensive foundation is worth healthier, happier skin. trust me.

fave product: matchmaster liquid foundation by MAC (apply it with a brush. not your fingers.)

5. eat right and exercise- you've all heard it a million times. but maintaining a healthy lifestyle is vital to your skin (and basically everything else). a lot of changes in your skin and even your hair a super hormonal and chemical, and the best way to keep those things in check are to keep yourself in good shape. this doesn't have to mean cutting out anything. eat good fats, good carbs, lots of fruits and vegetables, and avoid processed, synthetic sugars and fats. 

6. water water water- drink a lot more water than you think. if you feel like your drinking a lot already, drink more, because it probably isn't enough. this is a natural way to detoxify your body and it's just all around good for your health. 

7. keep it safe from the sun- ugh. this one is hard for me. i love tanning and feeling heat on my face especially in the summer, and i love the way i look when i'm sunkissed. but the less exposure your face has to UV rays, the healthier it will be in the long run. 90% of age signs (wrinkles, fine lines) are caused by UV rays. so wear a good sunscreen. 

fave product: elta md uv clear suncreen. this is a physical sunscreen, as opposed to a chemical sunscreen which is almost all you'll find in stores (coppertone, banana boat, etc). the difference between a physical and chemical sunscreen is pretty huge. a chemical sunscreen is packed with chemicals that soak into your skin and absorb uv rays, causing a chemical reaction that breaks it down, which is why you have to apply it every 2-3 hours. a physical sunscreen is made of zinc which is a completely natural mineral which reflects uv rays completely giving you much better protection. another big difference is that a physical sunscreen will block both UVA rays and UVB rays. UVA rays are longer wavelengths and are what cause sun damage to your skin. a chemical sunscreen will provide temporary protection from burns, but hardly any from aging. (remember UVB = burning, UVA = aging)

8. lower your stress- this is my favorite tip. stress can be a good thing, but too much stress can cause damage to your mind and your body. so every once in a while, remember to slow down and take care of yourself. give yourself a spa night and watch netflix. 

my fave face mask: catastrophe cosmetic by LUSH

hope you guys enjoyed my first "brainy about beauty" post. hopefully lots more helpful tips to come!

here's to happy skin, 

with love,

autumn nicole

madison

another shoot i'm a little behind on posting. seriously in love with these pictures. the lighting was treating us right and this girl is a gem. check out my photography tab for the full shoot. 

hey facebook, you're okay

(photo from tumblr) 

so lately, i've seen too many buzzfeed videos and blogposts about how social media is eating away our society slowly;

facebook is turning us into sociopaths

twitter is turning us into simple minded idiots only capable of thinking in 144 characters

instagram is distracting us from real life

tinder is destroying our generation for "real dating" 

snapchat is only being used for porn

blah blah blah blah blah

and frankly, i'm tired of it. i'm going to tell you all of the reasons social media makes me happy. because honestly, i like having places where I can scroll through thousands of pictures all day. i love beautiful things and beautiful people and places. heck, i even love beautifully arranged food. i love learning about people through captions. i love having a place that i can publicly and without shame share my life and my thoughts and my talents that i'm working on developing.

so what if people will write things in text that they would never say out loud? why do you think i have a blog? you think i want to talk to all you people about my deepest darkest places? i love learning about people by wondering why they used that word in that place. what kind of people use "haha" vs "lol". 

i think this selfie nation is a wonderful thing. i love seeing a world of beautiful people finally seeing their beauty. i wish everyone would take selfies. i want to know what makes you feel like you deserve to have your face plastered upon everyone's screens. 

stop being ashamed of our generation. we are an amazing race of humans that are finding something new every single day. we are growing together as a world and as people. we're all just people and the closer we get the more we can love. so no, i don't talk to that cheerleader from highschool, but i won't tell you i'm not interested in where she's at five years later. i love being able to talk to people i know, and even ones i don't, that are a little too far away to shake hands with. i have met some of the most talented people i know and some of the best friends i have through radio waves and wi-fi signals.

go on a date with the cute boy from tinder. not everyone is a total creep. just most of them. if for nothing else, do it for the sheer entertainment. some of my greatest mother-daughter bonding moments have been sitting with my mom harshly judging others. kidding. kind of. and also, i've made some super cool (and okay they're pretty cute too) friends who i probably would have never known existed had i not "swiped right".

okay fine, yes. there are people who abuse it and misuse it. there are scary people out there. there are catfish. there are people who overuse it and grow dependent on it. i will never deny that. as our world grows more amazing it also grows more dangerous. i will always medially socialize with caution and you should too. don't get consumed. after you peruse, get up and go on a hike and actually make eye contact with people.

but i think you know what i'm trying to say. don't fight them. join them. download snapchat. there's someone out there who cares about your trip to the petting zoo or your new haircut. and if it's important to you, don't be afraid to let us all know. 

to socializers with love,

autumn nicole

labels i'm loving: truly kustom & hello fab

hello again lovelies,

 today i'm here to talk about one of my newest and bestest obsessions...

minimalistic jewelry. 

guh. i love it so much. i love little tiny beauties that can go with any outfit for any occasion. 

i'm slowly but surely building both my gold and silver collections so that i can wear them according to my outfit and be fully accessorized. aside from madewell, my two new favorite places to shop for pretty little pieces are actually amazing etsy stores. hellofab and truly kustom. here's some pictures of my latest grabs. make sure to give their shops a look!

sparkly little bar necklace by hello fab.

criss cross rhinestone ring by hello fab.

modeled by the fabulous madison savoie. 

curved bar necklace from truly kustom

cute itty bitty circle necklace from truly kustom
(something i especially love about truly kustom, is that they let you choose the length of each necklace. which makes it awesome for layering with other pieces like i have in the second picture.)

do you guys love this trend as much as i do?

to fellow minimalists, 
with love

autumn nicole

kelsi and taryn

a shoot i did like forever ago but have been way too busy and lazy to post. pictured are these two gorgeous utah blogger babes- kelsi vaka and taryn lynn seymour. check out my photography tab for the full shoot. hair styled by emma ribiera with emma's parlour

femme fatale

so first, a disclaimer; i am not a writer. i don't exactly know how to put pretty words together. but these are my thoughts they way they come to my brain, and i hope they help you a little. whoever you are.

"people so tired

mutilated

either by love or no love." 

- Charles Bukowski

i have decided that best feeling i could possibly ever feel is the one i've been feeling lately. 

it's the feeling of being alone but never actually lonely, the feeling of hearing criticism and letting it make you stronger.

 it's the feeling of wanting people in you're life and loving those around you and being happy they exist, but needing no one else but yourself. 

it's that feeling they always talk about when you go through a break-up (the nice way of telling you that you contributed to it screwing up, and you should probably stop relationship hopping) that you "have to make yourself happy before you can be happy with someone else" (this statement i agree with and i don't agree with at the same time, but that's another topic for another post.)

and although i don't want to label it as being miss independent, that's sorta what it is. something happened to me about a year ago. i think i was hurt, and stressed, and lost and sad in so many ways for so many reasons. i was broken down to the tiniest particles of myself until i couldn't even see who i was anymore, like i'd just become another piece of dust in my own carpet. i moved through each day and vowed to feel nothing. because feeling nothing would feel better than hurting. believing in nothing and hoping for nothing would always be safer than letting yourself fall and break into more pieces.

okay, so i was wrong. and it took me a while to get here, but would you believe me if i told you i wouldn't trade being broken for anything in the world? it's almost a little magical, how the human body repairs itself. 

do you know how weight lifting works? or anything else for that matter- stretching, vaccines and immunizations, muscle tears, balance, tolerance to spicy foods, a broken bone. anyway, the point is that you've gotta go through the sucky part. it hurts, it's uncomfortable, you kind of never want to go through that again. i know that when i'm running i just want to stop five minutes in and say "yeah no i'm okay with being a little fat forever." but then you get a little stronger every time. you don't really feel yourself getting stronger. you keep tearing and stretching the muscles and pushing yourself through the pain and suddenly you're running twice as fast and standing twice as tall.

as corny as this sounds it's just the only way to describe the way your heart works. you get broken a hundred million times and you keep taping yourself back together and thinking you'll never heal, but every time something tries to break you it hurts a little less and has to work a little harder. you're standing a little taller and loving a little deeper and smiling a little more often. you will start noticing how beautiful the mountains are. how many goosebumps appear from that song you're listening to. how much kinder people look while they're laughing.

and you don't know why. you're life hasn't changed all that much. i know mine hasn't. i'm still sitting at a desk and checking in people to appointments and writing term papers and listening to music that no one else likes. but i've become so much more brave. i know what it feels like to be at a low and anything above that feels like a high. i know i'm not invincible, there's still shards of my dusty old heart left inside that keep me just a little bit scared and a little bit grounded. 

but this feeling that i'm feeling is so pretty because i'm not afraid of people anymore- of what they think or what they say or how much they care. i've realized that i'm 110% deserving of people who care about me as much as i care about them and nothing less than that. i realized i deserve to do the things i love while i have the chance to do them. i can spend my hard earned money on camera equipment and be a photographer even though everyone told me i couldn't. i can be okay with not having a boy tell me i'm pretty, i'm allowed to tell myself that. i don't need him to make me feel whole. and i can be content with not knowing exactly where i'm going to end up because i have tomorrow, and tomorrow will be so beautiful. 

and another thing about being broken is that when i put myself back together, it was easier for me to see that everyone else is just a little broken too. i can't hold onto hate anymore, it just doesn't stick. it hurts me more to know that somewhere, deep inside everyone there's a few little shards of heart that are keeping them from being a thousand times more beautiful. i wish i could reach inside and clean them up and let them see what it feels like to be free from the monsters living inside your head and the nasty world eating at you on the outside. 

so if you're reading this, i'm sorry. i'm sorry about your dusty heart and the pieces that are stuck really, really deep inside. but i want to keep telling you that they'll dissolve eventually. they'll leave some scars and those scars will be the new strongest part of you. but don't let them make you hard. let them make you strong. don't shut people out. people are the healers of hearts and you have someone who wants to heal you. somewhere. i promise. i won't tell you to look for the good in everyone, because sometimes it's too hard to see, but try to understand that they just need to find themselves too. please, don't ever give up. it's worth it sometimes.

i just want you to know

it's okay

be a heart breaker. 

Mary and Jo Engagements

Last week I was able to shoot my very first engagement session, and I am in love with the love. These two were such a joy to work with and I'm so excited about how they turned out. Check out my photography page to see the full shoot.