labels i'm loving: hope ave

so i got the awesome opportunity to be one of a few bloggers able to take a first look at the new hope avenue location in american fork, and let me tell you... i'm in love. i'm not just saying that because i'm writing a blogpost about it. i've been given a lot of free clothes and very seldom do i love them enough to feel inspired to write about them. hope ave felt like the epitome of me from the second i walked in. a little bit of hippie and a little bit of preppy and a little bit of casual. i've never been able to pin my own style, but i don't think i've ever  brought so many things into a dressing room at once as i did when i went to hope ave the first time (and second time. and probably soon to be a third time)

their style is a little bit free people and a little bit brandy melville. aka my two favorite places on earth. they have awesome brands like promesa and ginger g, which means supersoft fabric (my weakness), and there were also lots of striped tees (my other weakness) and cute cardigans (okay, one more weakness, needless to say i was a happy camper.) the store was decorated like a dream. casual hippie vibes and just the right size for the amount of product. i loved the color schemes they had and the wide variety of styles- literally something for everyone. plus they're affordable, but still amazing quality, which is so hard to find. 

the girls working there were so adorable and stylish and friendly. they learned my name right away and were so attentive and helpful, but not pushy like a lot of salespeople tend to be (trust me i know, i've been one before.) 

i'll shut up now, and let these looks do the talking. you can check out my photography tab for the full shoots. hope you fall in love like I did!

bridal session: mary and joseph

my first bridal session, and again so excited about how they turned out! i'm obsessed with mary's ethereal, delicate, woodsy look. and with their flowers. so pretty. check out my photography tab for the full shoot! 

i think it's called wanderlust or something

I don't know what this post is. It's probably not going to be as motivational and daintily worded and cute as my other two sappy posts. Mostly I'm writing this down for me just to organize my thoughts in the hopes of it making myself feel better.

I just have another feeling. And I have to write about it because I think it'll calm me down. Maybe not. Whatever, here goes nothing.

Right now I feel so restless. Alive and happy, but discontent. I am an anxious person for those who don't know. Over the last few months things have been peaceful. I have good friends and amazing family. I have kept myself so busy. I like my job. I'm relaxing and I'm finished with school for the summer. I've been RUNNING lately. How gross is that? Like I said, I'm happy. But after this peacefulness continues for too long, my blood begins to boil. I stop sleeping, my foot never stops tapping, my heart beats too fast, I check my phone even more addict-esque-ly than usual. I almost feel angry that nothing is moving. I begin to yearn for something new. It's not that I crave drama. I crave anything but that -- just a new place to visit, a new person, a friend or a date, a new opportunity, a photo shoot. Often this craving explodes into something trivial like new clothes or LUSH products (which I instantly regret it when I realize I have way too much of both) or most commonly a new hair color.

The thing that's both exciting and dangerous about this feeling is that it usually means something new is imminent and change is inevitable because it always is. Whether that something be good or bad, I try my best to let my anxiety reside inside me as excitement (for the most part. Hopefully this something isn't a health problem or an injury or an accident.) because sometimes when seemingly bad things happen, they end up turning into a blessing later on, and I am always excited for opportunities I have to grow.

I don't know where I'm going with this to be  completely honest. Like I said, I'm bored with my life. Happy, but bored. And maybe I'm being lazy and I need to make this change happen myself somehow, or maybe I'm being too eager and need to enjoy this calm before the storm. I don't know. Neither of those are a good way to be. I'm also not trying to complain in any way, because I'm exponentially grateful for how beautiful of a life I've got. But I'm excited for whatever change is coming at me, be it tomorrow or six months from now. Hopefully it shakes up my world in a good way.

Maybe I'm frustrated because I don't know exactly what it is that I want to happen, because if I did, I could go for it. I guess what I'm getting at with this post is that if you have this weird feeling in your gut like I do, and you actually KNOW what it is that you want unlike me, you should do something about it. Go tell that girl you like her. Go make up with your mom after that fight you had. Go make cookies for that old lady down the street. Buckle down and finish your term paper. Start a blog and tell the world how you feel. Go exercise because you love your body, not because you hate it.

What's the worst that can happen? And better than that, what's the best that can happen?

Like I said, no clue where I wanted to go with this. But hopefully it didn't bore to to tears. Thanks for reading, dolls.

with love,

autumn nicole

shelby + mercedes for arrowhead place

okay. i know i say this about every shoot (and i guess this is a good sign) but this really was my favorite shoot so far. possibly because i worked with two of my favorite models (and people) of all time, and because of the gorgeous clothing sponsored to me from arrowhead place. but for some reason this shoot just felt so me and so natural, like i'd dreamed about it for a long time before and it finally came to life. and i'm so happy with how they turned out. i'm very hard on myself. so i obviously am going to say that they can always be better, and i hope i continue to grow as a photographer, so that every shoot can one day be a dream shoot. but for now, i am loving what i do and i hope you all are enjoying it as well. i also want to extend a giant thank you to all of you who read my blog (including the sappy ones) and give me such amazing feedback and support on both my writing and my photography. you have no idea how much it encourages me. i get discouraged pretty easily when i start comparing my work to others, so to hear such nice things about it is amazing to me. so please. keep giving me criticism. keep letting me practice on you. keep reading my dumb sappy posts. hopefully you can grow with me and enjoy the ride as much as i am. 

with love, 

autumn nicole 

check out my photography tab to see this full shoot. 

senior session: kaila

so excited to show you all my first senior session with this beautiful girl! i love working with dancers because they take direction so well. and because they're always stunning. i wanted to try something kind of unique with the location and we had so much fun. check out my photography tab to see the full shoot.

abrea + labels i'm loving

hey ya'll! it's taken me forever to post this but here's a cute shoot i did with my beautiful friend abrea in collaboration with amos leather works and slouch headwear. amos leather works is an amazing small company specializing in beautiful, genuine leather, handmade accessories. i was so excited to feature them in some of my work. also featuring this really cute kitty (which abrea hated but you'd never know it from the pictures) who loved to snuggle.

another guide to happiness

alright dudes. i'm about to go very psych-major on you all.

a few posts back i discussed heartbreak and growing and being stronger and i mentioned this girl quote that we all know and love...

"you cannot be happy with someone else until you learn to be happy with yourself."

        - every girl ever

okay. yes. as i said, i agree and i disagree with this. 

i agree with the fact that you should never ever place your self worth in the hands of someone else. you shouldn't have to sacrifice everything for someone who is not willing to give you an inch. you should never take abuse in any form. you should never let anyone hold you back or tear you down. those people are toxic and you don't need them. 

also, i know you will always be happier in a relationship or in a marriage or in a friendship if you know yourself. know who you are, what you stand for, where you stand, what you like and hate and love and know and don't. you should always strive to learn all you possibly can and understand things from all angles. learn to be unapologetically, unchangingly, unbreakably you. by that i mean the best you. do not settle for the lesser version of you. know your faults and weaknesses and flaws. look into your past and DIG. DEEP. you will see a lot of ugly things and a lot of awesome things that have shaped you into who you are. learn to face your pain and then let yourself let go. move on. make goals. whatever. just start being better. this is what gives you a sense of self-love. it's not being skinny or having the best hair or clothes or having a million people compliment your intelligence or needing to brag or lie about your grandeur. it is internally being comfortable with yourself and not being afraid to love it.

but, i disagree because the whole idea is frankly kind of narcissistic. there, i said it. are you confused? i'm sorry i'm confusing myself too. but let me explain this as well. i firmly and wholeheartedly believe that the best way to find out who you are and what you love and feel whole and happy, is to forget. about. yourself. 

wait what?

but autumn you just said to love yourself and spoil yourself and be yourself and and and and......

just listen. you know that feeling when you write someone a letter or buy them a present or clean something without asking, just to make them happy? thats you being you. it's you believing in something bigger than yourself. when you only focus on yourself, you will never be really okay. you will be stuck in this little selfish spiral where all you can see is the reasons you're miserable and the things that are making you anxious and what everyone is doing wrong to hurt you and

 you you you you you

i hate elite daily 99% of the time because most of what they post is worldly and vain and focused on beauty and personal opinion and it bugs me, but they actually posted something i actually liked very recently titled "10 reasons this generation is losing the ability to be in love" (which, sadly, i feel like i agree with most of the time. but again, another post for another day.)the 4th reason on the list is that "we're becoming more egocentric." i'll just quote the section for you. they say, "every individual in the world is egocentric; we all think about our needs and ourselves first and foremost. whether this is good or bad doesn't really matter; the world is the way it is. it's part of human nature. the problem arises when our egocentricity overtakes our ability to feel empathy. as human beings, we have no choice but to live and function in society, within communities of different sizes. relationships are really nothing more than granule communities. when we focus on only ourselves, our needs, our wants and desires, the needs of the community get overlooked. when this happens in a relationship, it all begins to fall apart." (you can read the rest of the article here)

“How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.”

well UGH. how depressing is that? losing our ability to be in love? call me a girl but i sincerely believe all the cliché's; love is the closest thing humans have to magic, love makes the world go round, and of course, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

i'm not advising you to not do the things you love and be who you are. i just mean that the more you make other people smile, the more you'll smile yourself. and that's what relationships are about, right? trust, selflessness, commitment, hope for the best, honesty, loyalty. both parties are not giving 50%, but 110% each. and even through hard hard times, if you're both working, you will fill each other's (hypothetical) love cups with sparkles and rainbows so that you are both running over the brim with smiles. and it's magic. at least, that's what i've heard. it's good to take care of yourself and take pride in yourself and have confidence, but the best way to build those things up are to do good things for other people.

so let me revise this overused little piece of advice; 

learn to love others in order to love yourself. be the kind of person you would love to love. and then you will be happy, with and without someone by your side.

with LOVE,

autumn nicole